Just a short 10 days ago was one of the most exciting days of my life...my son was born. It was an absolutely incredible thing that all of my emotions and feelings couldn't possibly be put into a complete explanation through words. To see a baby that looks to you for complete dependance is scary yet completely incredible. To look and see resemblances of myself and Jonathan in him is humbling and makes me stand in awe of the creation of Brayden that God formed inside my womb. It is a beautiful thing...and one that I am so privileged to experience.
Brayden was born Friday, July 11th, and I came home from the hospital on Monday, July 14th...I was so excited to begin life at home...yet that Monday, I began to get pretty sick. Not only was I recovering from a C-section, but little did I know, I was developing pregancy induced hyper-tension called pre-ecclampsia. Over the next couple days, I increasingly grew weaker through nausea and a high blood-pressure. On Friday, I finally headed into the doctor to find out what was wrong. She admitted me to the hospital to regulate my blood-pressure and find out all that might be wrong. Over the last couple days, I've sat in yet another hospital room to regain my strength and recover from this lovely pregnancy-related condition. Jonathan has been so great to sit (and sleep) in the hospital room (aka - very small couch) with me daily to help me recover. Brayden is oblivious to what is going on...he just wants to sleep, get his (constantly-filled) diaper changed, and eat...he has done great! What a bonding time it has been...I never would have defined or described it happening this way...but God IS in control...and I will trust Him.
This week has been one that defies all expectations created beforehand in my mind, yet it is one that also exceeds anything I could dream of. It is a time that has presented challenges that have caused me to look up and realize that this thing called parenthood is one that cannot be done on my own. It was not created to be done alone...and no, I'm not just talking about the need for the help of my husband (however, Jonathan is an AMAZING dad!!!)...but I am reminded that daily I will need the help of the Ultimate Parent...GOD - MY Father. He is the One that gave me the model of how to love perfectly...He is the One who showed us how to truly sacrifice...He is the One that gives us the grace needed to pour out onto others...and He is the One who daily gives me wisdom on how to be the best mom I can be to Brayden. I CANNOT DO IT ALONE.
"Show me Your ways, O Lord, teach me Your paths; guide me in Your truth and teach me, for You are God my Savior, and my hope is in You all day long." Psalm 25:4-5
Well, having a baby definitely causes one thing - SLEEP DEPRIVATION! The last few nights, Brayden has been up LOTS! Last night, Jonathan "passed him off" to me at 2:00am and said, "His eyes have never been so big!" Seriously...his eyes were wide-eyed and ready to play! (If he could indeed play!) So, Brayden and I hung out for awhile. 
